Well here we are kids, close enough to begin counting down, its been a long strange journey indeed.

 

As of a couple of months ago I am clear, but we all know thats just smoke and mirrors at this point. Now begins the long count down to the 6 month mark and beyond.

 

I keep getting the "you look great" line from everyone. The truth is all I see is finally reaching an age when I am comfortable in my skin just to discover my skin is having a schizophrenic episode and I could not recognize me without 3 forms of id.

 

I look and feel 10 yrs older than I did on January 10th, the beginning of this slippery slope of twist and tumble to get me to this day, just shy of a year later.

 

The "holiday's" are upon us and I will be opting out this year, 10 days is not enough time to come up out of the fog and into the cheery ho ho ho spirit. I fell much more like the ghost of christmas past, uuuprfph, ooh, perhaps it is just a bad piece of meat.

 

I am covered in bruises and scabs. I can see all the roots of my teeth. There is no inch of me that is not cracked and itchy, its a beautiful sight I tell you.

 

Somehow in the midst of it all, while out shopping with my daughter 2 weekends ago,  I actually got "hit on", good God I swear the freaks abound. An old, hmm, suppose I could say boyfriend, but actually 4 yr obsession, oh well, anyway, made a comment that I possess, oh how did he say "inherent sexuality", I could have peed my pants laughing. I may sound sexy on the phone, but the only thing feeling sexy on me at the moment is, well, precisely, nothing.

 

I have decided that I will need to spend the entire first quarter of the year cleaning house. I am just sure there are "things" growing in every corner of my home. Laundry alone aught to carry me through to March and perhaps for my 41st birthday I will move on to dust bunnies, actually they are more like dust badgers, even the cats won't go under the bed anymore.

 

And I can barely make it out of it.........